Friday, December 07, 2007
Friday, September 28, 2007
Half way done with clinicals...crazy...
Well – hello again :) I think my last post was right before I began my clinical experience…and an “experience” it has been! Yikes! We start off with a week at a nursing home, one week off, then a week at a hospital. It probably would have been helpful for me to write and vent at the time all the craziness was happening – but honestly I was trying my best to find a way to put the experiences behind me. I’m finally now at a place where I can sort of laugh about things…so…here goes the rundown…
Nursing Home…we’re paired up with a partner (one “main caregiver” and one the “assistant”) and assigned one resident for the day…
Day 1 – My first patient ever was a sweet lady (5'9 but only 76lbs) – and hospice – meaning she’s REALLY sick. You aren’t labeled hospice until you have 6months or less to live. She’d been there 3 months already and talked about how it would be long. Her daughter was visiting her and NOT happy that we were taking a while to get our stuff done. You see, we have to get an instructor to watch and evaluate us the first time we do ANY procedure (we even had to have someone see us wash our hands and introduce ourselves to the patient…ugh). That means, with a class of 22 and only 4 instructors, we are always having to get ready and then wait to start a procedure until our instructor gets around to us. So, I have this really upset family member breathing down my neck and it’s the first time I’m trying anything on a real live person – freaky. Anyways, at one point my instructor was watching me do something and the patient all of a sudden stopped breathing – she was bent in half trying to find a position she could get some air – just gasping but making almost no noise – freaky- my partner backed up to the wall with her hands up …some help she was (actually she’s great – neither of us knew what to do) I told my instructor that she was turning blue and she just looked at me like “so what? What ya gonna do about it?” Now, I know she was a “do not resuscitate” patient – but there HAD to be something we could do…something to comfort her, something to assure her or me, at least treating her like a person. I know she’s dying – but she’s still alive now! It made me so upset. After about a minute or two she started breathing again. I was so relieved – but sort of shaken. The instructor had the nerve of asking me if I was ready to check off on the sort of exercises we do. I didn’t really give an answer except saying that I thought she needed a break. We wore her out – were probably a part of the reason she had a breathing crisis – I couldn’t do anything more to her even if it meant my grade. I ended up sneaking over to the dinning room and getting her tray for lunch. I put it in front of her before the instructor got back (she said she’d give her a 15min break – how kind of her…ugh) so when she got back I said “sorry, she’s eating. Guess we can’t do anything more to her today” I felt kinda good about it because I knew we’d be hurting more than helping…but the instructor wasn’t happy. Anyways – I cried about it all later. Our job mainly involves hygiene and transport – not medicine – there’s something very hard about simply standing by while someone gasps for air and starts to suffocate – it’s crazy – I’m not hardened or able to distance myself like the instructors. It makes me really consider whether I can do this job….moving on….
Day 2 – this time was supposed to be easier since I was the “assistant” – not the one being tested. However, we got a patient who growled like an animal and cussed us out for the whole 6 hours. The CNA told us the wrong injured side (meaning we did procedures wrong the first half of the day) and he was really difficult too. He tried to make us mess up. We’d put him in position for a procedure and he’d, for example, hide his hand under his back when you looked away. SO frustrating! And it’s hard enough to start out new with out someone saying over and over “you’re not going to be able to do it – cause you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” He grabbed my shirt and started to gather more and more of it in his first and pulled me off balance. He scared my partner and I wasn’t too comfortable around his either. At one point my instructor told us to hurry up and get done before he hit us. Ugh.
Day 3 – Sweet lady with Alzheimers – Also a hospice patient (this means both my first 2 patients were hospice) no one else ever had to deal with hospice – it’s hard…didn’t feel like it was fair…but what can ya do? She fluxed from happy oblivious to angry/scared from minute to minute – she’s forget what we were in the middle of doing and get upset – Not her fault…just tough. The CNA yelled at us that day too – not really our fault but we still just had to take it (after all – she didn’t tell us our patient had Alzheimer’s – the would have been helpful – better than having to find out ourselves). That day I had to test off on feeding people – a different instructor was with me than the day before – so she ended up assigning me to feel yesterday’s angry patient. I told her I couldn’t because he hated me – she said “o, I’m sure that’s not true – besides, maybe he won’t remember you.” I walked over to the table and he growled at me – I leaned over to her and said “ummm, I think he remembers” – still had to help him. He’d wait til I got my hands close to his mouth and then he’d spit on me – so gross!! Anyways – you can imagine the rest…
Day 4 – Lady who had regressed back to being about 4 years old. Tough day – she was scared a lot – had lots of equipment keeping her going. Assigned to a new patient for the last half of the day – stroke caused her left side to be paralyzed. I helped with a bunch of procedures – but she couldn’t help us move her at all. She was SO MUCH dead weight – I had to hold her up for a few minutes and thought I was going to drop her – I ended up hurting my shoulder and back…that night all I could do was lay on the hard floor…blah.
There it was – the beginning of Clinicals hell…
Not sure what I think of nursing anymore. Maybe I had a bad experience. Maybe nursing homes are just not my thing. I don’t know…but yesterday we toured the hospital and I felt more comfortable there already. We start our week there on Monday. It’s going to be tougher there – lots of different problems, procedures, nurses and doctors. But maybe the atmosphere will be better – and people who are there for just an illness/injury (short time) might be better about being taken care of then people in a long term facility – guess I’ll find out soon…..
Guess that’s enough for now – have a lot more to talk about but I’m going to a softball game – I’m trying to support our middle school girls from the youth group – I think one tangible way is showing up to their games…so that’s where I’m starting :)
Next topic – love…what a mess!
Nursing Home…we’re paired up with a partner (one “main caregiver” and one the “assistant”) and assigned one resident for the day…
Day 1 – My first patient ever was a sweet lady (5'9 but only 76lbs) – and hospice – meaning she’s REALLY sick. You aren’t labeled hospice until you have 6months or less to live. She’d been there 3 months already and talked about how it would be long. Her daughter was visiting her and NOT happy that we were taking a while to get our stuff done. You see, we have to get an instructor to watch and evaluate us the first time we do ANY procedure (we even had to have someone see us wash our hands and introduce ourselves to the patient…ugh). That means, with a class of 22 and only 4 instructors, we are always having to get ready and then wait to start a procedure until our instructor gets around to us. So, I have this really upset family member breathing down my neck and it’s the first time I’m trying anything on a real live person – freaky. Anyways, at one point my instructor was watching me do something and the patient all of a sudden stopped breathing – she was bent in half trying to find a position she could get some air – just gasping but making almost no noise – freaky- my partner backed up to the wall with her hands up …some help she was (actually she’s great – neither of us knew what to do) I told my instructor that she was turning blue and she just looked at me like “so what? What ya gonna do about it?” Now, I know she was a “do not resuscitate” patient – but there HAD to be something we could do…something to comfort her, something to assure her or me, at least treating her like a person. I know she’s dying – but she’s still alive now! It made me so upset. After about a minute or two she started breathing again. I was so relieved – but sort of shaken. The instructor had the nerve of asking me if I was ready to check off on the sort of exercises we do. I didn’t really give an answer except saying that I thought she needed a break. We wore her out – were probably a part of the reason she had a breathing crisis – I couldn’t do anything more to her even if it meant my grade. I ended up sneaking over to the dinning room and getting her tray for lunch. I put it in front of her before the instructor got back (she said she’d give her a 15min break – how kind of her…ugh) so when she got back I said “sorry, she’s eating. Guess we can’t do anything more to her today” I felt kinda good about it because I knew we’d be hurting more than helping…but the instructor wasn’t happy. Anyways – I cried about it all later. Our job mainly involves hygiene and transport – not medicine – there’s something very hard about simply standing by while someone gasps for air and starts to suffocate – it’s crazy – I’m not hardened or able to distance myself like the instructors. It makes me really consider whether I can do this job….moving on….
Day 2 – this time was supposed to be easier since I was the “assistant” – not the one being tested. However, we got a patient who growled like an animal and cussed us out for the whole 6 hours. The CNA told us the wrong injured side (meaning we did procedures wrong the first half of the day) and he was really difficult too. He tried to make us mess up. We’d put him in position for a procedure and he’d, for example, hide his hand under his back when you looked away. SO frustrating! And it’s hard enough to start out new with out someone saying over and over “you’re not going to be able to do it – cause you don’t know what the hell you’re doing.” He grabbed my shirt and started to gather more and more of it in his first and pulled me off balance. He scared my partner and I wasn’t too comfortable around his either. At one point my instructor told us to hurry up and get done before he hit us. Ugh.
Day 3 – Sweet lady with Alzheimers – Also a hospice patient (this means both my first 2 patients were hospice) no one else ever had to deal with hospice – it’s hard…didn’t feel like it was fair…but what can ya do? She fluxed from happy oblivious to angry/scared from minute to minute – she’s forget what we were in the middle of doing and get upset – Not her fault…just tough. The CNA yelled at us that day too – not really our fault but we still just had to take it (after all – she didn’t tell us our patient had Alzheimer’s – the would have been helpful – better than having to find out ourselves). That day I had to test off on feeding people – a different instructor was with me than the day before – so she ended up assigning me to feel yesterday’s angry patient. I told her I couldn’t because he hated me – she said “o, I’m sure that’s not true – besides, maybe he won’t remember you.” I walked over to the table and he growled at me – I leaned over to her and said “ummm, I think he remembers” – still had to help him. He’d wait til I got my hands close to his mouth and then he’d spit on me – so gross!! Anyways – you can imagine the rest…
Day 4 – Lady who had regressed back to being about 4 years old. Tough day – she was scared a lot – had lots of equipment keeping her going. Assigned to a new patient for the last half of the day – stroke caused her left side to be paralyzed. I helped with a bunch of procedures – but she couldn’t help us move her at all. She was SO MUCH dead weight – I had to hold her up for a few minutes and thought I was going to drop her – I ended up hurting my shoulder and back…that night all I could do was lay on the hard floor…blah.
There it was – the beginning of Clinicals hell…
Not sure what I think of nursing anymore. Maybe I had a bad experience. Maybe nursing homes are just not my thing. I don’t know…but yesterday we toured the hospital and I felt more comfortable there already. We start our week there on Monday. It’s going to be tougher there – lots of different problems, procedures, nurses and doctors. But maybe the atmosphere will be better – and people who are there for just an illness/injury (short time) might be better about being taken care of then people in a long term facility – guess I’ll find out soon…..
Guess that’s enough for now – have a lot more to talk about but I’m going to a softball game – I’m trying to support our middle school girls from the youth group – I think one tangible way is showing up to their games…so that’s where I’m starting :)
Next topic – love…what a mess!
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Monday, September 10, 2007
the recap...i'm back :)
Whelp, I think the summer is finally coming to an end and fall is busting thru. It’s been decently hot and sticky lately…and WET. August was the wettest month in history…not just of past Augusts…but all time. It rained for something like 10-14 days straight and our area is considered somewhat of a disaster. I woke up this morning and after a week without rain we’re back into it. This time, however, it’s COLD rain…and the temp’s down to the high 50s low 60s. ahhhh….it’s refreshing. I spent the morning breaking out my cool weather clothes (because really the weather changes in an instant and we’re never ready) :) Today I don’t have to be in to class until 1pm because I had a 4 hour skills test (ugh!) Thursday with half of the class. The other students have to complete it this morning. So, a trip to the coffee shop with free wifi was definitely in order :) who knows…I may actually adopt this into a Friday tradition (don’t have class on Fridays)…who knows.
Ok – so, summer recap (now that it’s over :( oops…)
1. Moving home. Well, that’s interesting. I’m not saying that it’s horrible to be with family…I love them a ton…but it’s tough to be back after being out on my own. Plus, I don’t really have any friends here. I’m still struggling with that…but maybe with fall starting there will be new opportunities to get involved somewhere…who know.
2. Camp counselor for a week at Spencer Lake Christian Camp. Reggie Dabbs spoke and it was crazy GREAT. I could listen to him everyday. He definitely spoke to the hearts of the counselors and youth pastors as well as the kids. Having 3 cabins of girls to sort of watch over was difficult…LOTS of drama. They were divided into two VERY different groups. I loved them all but it was hard to be pulled in two different directions. People’s feelings got hurt and I’m still trying to help clean up that mess.
3. Women of Faith conference. What a great time to soak it all in. I felt like I had been running on empty for a long time and it was great to have a place to just sit and soak it all in. I wish there had been friends there so I could talk to people about the great stuff that was said…you know…process…but that’s alright. Mom and I had a pretty good time there (though 2 days alone was just enough for us :)
4. School plans fell thru but I found a new class to be a part of. My class started August 22nd – it’s 6 ½ hrs a day, Mon thru Thurs. it’s LONG but good. I’m learning a lot and am starting to really appreciate the tech college atmosphere (more on that later)
5. Mel’s back to school and that’s tough. I miss her being around. The good part about moving her in was that I got the chance to see my boys. They are getting SO BIG. It’s only been 3 months and it’s incredible how much they can do now. I was a little worried they wouldn’t remember me or wouldn’t want to play. But, it only took a few mins before Isaac was all over me and excited to play. I LOVE that! The Pasley’s were great – giving me a place to stay as well as food and fun…I really AM a part of their family…I’m SO blessed :)
6. Identity Theft - someone has all my information and has been trying to open countless credit card accounts. I only know of 6 accounts so far. They were actually able to get 2 accounts open and I only know right now they've racked up $1,400 on one (concert tickets, clothes, tv's, groceries, etc.. - - if they needed groceries i'm the kind of person they could have asked and i'd have made sure they had enough...). It's SUCH a mess. Not sure how it's all going to work out but something's gotta happen....it's SO frustrating!! I've had to file police reports and talk with a lot of investigators...most of which have a hard time believing I'm really me because the other girl keeps calling all these companies trying to convince them She is the real me. It's hard enough to be the real ME and I don't know why someone would want to try...haha. I actually think the problem started with the original CNA class I tried to take out of Milwaukee - they've disappeared and had all my info...crazy. I DO have their address though...I mean the people that have been making bogus accounts and racking up bills. They live at 5166 N. Lover's Lane Rd. , Apt B12 Milwaukee, WI. Hey, if they can give out all my personal info than I can too. The latest credit card company confirmed this address as the one being used for shipping...so I'm putting it out there. If anyone knows this address...feel free to tell 'em to knock it off. I'm thinking of sending them a letter...it's still in the works...as you can probably tell...i'm still a little upset about all of this. So remember....
5166 N. Lover's Lane Rd., Apt B12 Milwaukee, WI :) I actually went past this addy when I was out looking for bday presents for Mel but restrained myself from actually going up to the door (honestly I don't know what I would have done - don't get me wrong...i'm not in the business of threatening anyone...but i kinda want them to know that i know where they're at and that i've passed it on to the police...that and a plea for them to knock it off...you know...).
Whelp – that’s the recap - I'd better hurry up and get to class…more to come now that I’m back in some sort of routine…you know how it is.
Pics to come!
p.s. – please pray for my continuing search for direction. I’m not sure what I’m doing after this 8 week class. I “graduate” Oct. 11th and take the state test soon after that. That’s all the plan I know right now and it’s driving me a little crazy :) I’m sure something will work out…but I fear maybe I’m trying to force the timing on things…
Ok – so, summer recap (now that it’s over :( oops…)
1. Moving home. Well, that’s interesting. I’m not saying that it’s horrible to be with family…I love them a ton…but it’s tough to be back after being out on my own. Plus, I don’t really have any friends here. I’m still struggling with that…but maybe with fall starting there will be new opportunities to get involved somewhere…who know.
2. Camp counselor for a week at Spencer Lake Christian Camp. Reggie Dabbs spoke and it was crazy GREAT. I could listen to him everyday. He definitely spoke to the hearts of the counselors and youth pastors as well as the kids. Having 3 cabins of girls to sort of watch over was difficult…LOTS of drama. They were divided into two VERY different groups. I loved them all but it was hard to be pulled in two different directions. People’s feelings got hurt and I’m still trying to help clean up that mess.
3. Women of Faith conference. What a great time to soak it all in. I felt like I had been running on empty for a long time and it was great to have a place to just sit and soak it all in. I wish there had been friends there so I could talk to people about the great stuff that was said…you know…process…but that’s alright. Mom and I had a pretty good time there (though 2 days alone was just enough for us :)
4. School plans fell thru but I found a new class to be a part of. My class started August 22nd – it’s 6 ½ hrs a day, Mon thru Thurs. it’s LONG but good. I’m learning a lot and am starting to really appreciate the tech college atmosphere (more on that later)
5. Mel’s back to school and that’s tough. I miss her being around. The good part about moving her in was that I got the chance to see my boys. They are getting SO BIG. It’s only been 3 months and it’s incredible how much they can do now. I was a little worried they wouldn’t remember me or wouldn’t want to play. But, it only took a few mins before Isaac was all over me and excited to play. I LOVE that! The Pasley’s were great – giving me a place to stay as well as food and fun…I really AM a part of their family…I’m SO blessed :)
6. Identity Theft - someone has all my information and has been trying to open countless credit card accounts. I only know of 6 accounts so far. They were actually able to get 2 accounts open and I only know right now they've racked up $1,400 on one (concert tickets, clothes, tv's, groceries, etc.. - - if they needed groceries i'm the kind of person they could have asked and i'd have made sure they had enough...). It's SUCH a mess. Not sure how it's all going to work out but something's gotta happen....it's SO frustrating!! I've had to file police reports and talk with a lot of investigators...most of which have a hard time believing I'm really me because the other girl keeps calling all these companies trying to convince them She is the real me. It's hard enough to be the real ME and I don't know why someone would want to try...haha. I actually think the problem started with the original CNA class I tried to take out of Milwaukee - they've disappeared and had all my info...crazy. I DO have their address though...I mean the people that have been making bogus accounts and racking up bills. They live at 5166 N. Lover's Lane Rd. , Apt B12 Milwaukee, WI. Hey, if they can give out all my personal info than I can too. The latest credit card company confirmed this address as the one being used for shipping...so I'm putting it out there. If anyone knows this address...feel free to tell 'em to knock it off. I'm thinking of sending them a letter...it's still in the works...as you can probably tell...i'm still a little upset about all of this. So remember....
5166 N. Lover's Lane Rd., Apt B12 Milwaukee, WI :) I actually went past this addy when I was out looking for bday presents for Mel but restrained myself from actually going up to the door (honestly I don't know what I would have done - don't get me wrong...i'm not in the business of threatening anyone...but i kinda want them to know that i know where they're at and that i've passed it on to the police...that and a plea for them to knock it off...you know...).
Whelp – that’s the recap - I'd better hurry up and get to class…more to come now that I’m back in some sort of routine…you know how it is.
Pics to come!
p.s. – please pray for my continuing search for direction. I’m not sure what I’m doing after this 8 week class. I “graduate” Oct. 11th and take the state test soon after that. That’s all the plan I know right now and it’s driving me a little crazy :) I’m sure something will work out…but I fear maybe I’m trying to force the timing on things…
Saturday, July 21, 2007
promise i have not abandoned the blog...a lot has changed in a month...
even just the past 2 weeks have been crazy -- a week at camp (with reggie dabbs - whoa!) and a weekend at Women of Faith -- i have a TON to process. nothing is clear anymore...i feel like i'm sorta losing myself...we'll see what happens...
later...
jc
even just the past 2 weeks have been crazy -- a week at camp (with reggie dabbs - whoa!) and a weekend at Women of Faith -- i have a TON to process. nothing is clear anymore...i feel like i'm sorta losing myself...we'll see what happens...
later...
jc
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
ahhh...relief...
little update before bed...i think the school/future crisis is over (probably wasn't one to begin with...ahh - hindsight). suffice it to say - within a mere hour, everything fell into place - and it's better than i could have imagined :)
more to come...
God's showed up BIG today...
oh, me of little faith...
-jc
more to come...
God's showed up BIG today...
oh, me of little faith...
-jc
Thursday, May 03, 2007
oops...
well - i finally "announced" fall plans (regarding school)...and what happens? you guessed it...things have gotten messed up a little (i feel like an idiot). currently i'm back at square one - looking at all the options again...and some new ones as well. i really don't know what to do and i'm panicking a little (well, i'm trying to keep it at "little" but i'm really stressed). i'll try to keep this thing more up to date from now on - but i'm not real good at keeping that promise (though i have a lot to "talk out" that i could see happening here)...who knows...i need people to bounce ideas off of. for now i'm off to bed - i'm sick, stressed, have family in town, and need to prepare sunday school stuff tomorrow morning...fun fun fun :/
niters...
niters...
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