this morning there was a principal shot by a former student...in Wisconsin...a little less than 2 hours away. we've had a lot of prank/harassing calls lately - we all know dad's a pretty tough teacher (so not exactly people's favorite), but this is his last year teaching...and today i wish he'd just retire early and come home right now - a whole year seems kinda long when you hear about this stuff...

Held...

So, I can’t relate to the beginning part…but I love the middle…pretty much Natalie Grant is my favorite right now….

Natalie Grant \ Held

Two months is too little.
They let him go.
They had no sudden healing.
To think that providence would
Take a child from his mother while she prays
Is appalling.

Who told us we'd be rescued?
What has changed and why should we be saved from nightmares?
We're asking why this happens
To us who have died to live?
It's unfair.

Chorus:
This is what it means to be held.
How it feels when the sacred is torn from your life
And you survive.
This is what it is to be loved.
And to know that the promise was
When everything fell we'd be held.

This hand is bitterness.
We want to taste it, let the hatred numb our sorrow.
The wise hand opens slowly to lilies of the valley and tomorrow.

(Chorus)

Bridge2: If hope is born of suffering. If this is only the beginning. Can we not wait for one hour watching for our Savior?

(Chorus)

The New Wheels

whelp - i am currently mourning the loss of my mustang :( a friend of mine found an awesome deal on a car for me...and...well, mom and dad decided they didn't want mel to feel like she alwas gets the hand-me-downs so they decided to buy the car and give it to her. i was a little upset at first...but after a little bit i got REAL excited to give her the car. dad decided to surprise her when she came home for the weekend. long story short...we surprised her and she hated it...after much yelling and crying...dad gave her my mustang (with the promise of selling it in a few moths to get something else) and gave me the car that will be (for the kids i'll be watching) more "appropriate" and "responsible"....blah.... on the good side, this car is in GREAT condition. its a 1990 olds eighty-eight royal...but it only has 67,000 miles on it and the inside is in perfect condition...it's great...it's just not the mustang :( i'm sure i'll start to own the car soon...just hasn't happened yet.

SCCC Youth Group Update

whelp - here was a new ice breaker i'd never heard of...but i liked it. everyone was split into 4 teams (middle girls/middle boys/srhigh girls/srhigh guys), given 2 rolls of duct tape - the object was to choose one team member and tape them to the wall. whoever stays up the longest wins :)

raenelle

joe

jacob

lauren

raenelle on her way to the "win" :) yep...she's on my team...haha

My New Address :)

not as impressive from the back (unless you're me and get impressed easily by things with more than one story - sad but true) - but to get a pic from the front you've gotta take it from the water :)

haha - i now live on Sunrise Pt...how cool is that?? this is like (to me) one of those houses i couldn't dream of ever getting to live in...and i get the WHOLE BASEMENT apartment to myself!! WOOHOO! o yeah - did i ever give the details of this arangement?? free apt, utilities, food, use of boat/jetski/etc, and a little bit of cash every month. seriously - i'm not sure how much better the physical arangement could be :)

Here We Go - Back Up and Running :)

Ok – Hi :) So, I’ve had a new computer for a week now…and no writing. I apologize – I’m working on fixing that right now – but I don’t know how it’s gonna go. We’ll see – no more promises of “things to come” …playin it by ear.

So, I thought the easiest way to start this whole update deal is probably with pictures. I think it’s gonna take me a little bit to get back into the swing of things and get to some good stories. So, here goes…I guess the biggest news right now is about my new job. I didn’t get the Epic job and was pretty crushed when I found out. Honestly, I didn’t even have an answer or something planned out to say in the event that they didn’t give me the job. I was unprepared…and that NEVER happens…well, I try to not let it happen anyways. But yeah, they told me know and I stammered out something stupid about “appreciating” them getting back to me. I don’t know. But, anyways, that night I talked to some people about my new job-less and option-less state and they were sympathetic. And that was nice. But, it didn’t stop there. Instead, I got a phone call the next day from my friend Sue. She told me the family that offered me a nanny job back in July (when I was SO SURE I had the Epic job) was still looking for someone and still wanted to talk to me. Long story short…I went to their house (the whole situation ended up being REAL comical which made things more relaxed I guess…thank Isaac:) and …So, I’m moving back to Greenville in 3 days. I’m going to take an online masters class – towards my MSW (it’s good enough to keep me on insurance which will be a big blessing – and really it looks like it’ll be pretty interesting).

So, that brings up a little stress here in the life of me. I’m excited to be moving back to Greenville – and afraid all at the same time. I don’t know – besides the somewhat “normal” fears about not being good at the job or not liking the job, I’m also worried about other stuff – stupid I’m sure…but I’ll lay a little bit of it out. Here are the main questions in my head – what if I can’t deal with life and not go back to old ways in this new situation? How do I find accountability (really – the last time sort of just fell in my lap)? Logistics about being a nanny – how to get into a routine, do’s/don’ts/etc…How am I going to figure it out? Am I pathetic for moving back to Greenville (is it a step backwards)? And some relationships are a little weird with a couple GC people – I don’t know what I did wrong or how to fix things – I’ve asked but they won’t talk to me about it…so…what to do there? How do I follow thru with people long distance (leaving in the middle of someone else’s crisis – how to “be there” when I’m not physically there”)?

Guess that’s most of it. I don’t know – guess I’m just sad…and that makes me feel stupid. I finally get what I thought I wanted (to leave and go back to “safe” Greenville – but I’m not sure it’s “safe” anymore) and now I’m not sure I want what I’m getting. Does that make sense? Who knows – I’m sure once I get down there things will calm down and I’ll settle in – though I wish I knew the family I’m living with a little better. I’ve heard they’re great people – and I’m sure they are – but I’m a little afraid they won’t like me or things will be “weird.” Guess it’s not going to change anything. I mean, I’ve committed to coming…so that’s what I’m going to do – I’m just scared of the unknown I guess….

JC

promise an update to come...but right now our home computer has been KIA and i'm left to the library (that restricts basically anything and everything)...so if i can get to another one a REAL update will happen...we'll see...
news to come:
1.new job/moving
2.day with my camp girls
3.baby at church-miracle story :)
4.whatever else i can come up with that won't bore people to death...

jc