it's like drowning...

-so i think i've come to understand drowning victims a little better tonight....

...why they might fight the lifeguard
(though he's in the 'saving' business cause he can do it)
...and sometime seal their own disastrous fate
...because it's scary to give up control
(especially when you feel like you're dying)
...even when you know you need a savior

-many times i chose to fight and drown rather than give up - - and that's stupid (no good way to say it)
-and i'm tired of being stupid... (it costs too much)

-more to come later...'cause tonight i'm totally spent...

jc