well....this evening was a bust. i was done having fun about 20 minutes into the whole deal tonight. it's weird..it's never been like this before. most of the time, the girls and i sit around and talk for hours. we're usually the type that don't need to be doing a whole lot to be having fun. i don't know. i think i started to realize something kind of pathetic. seems we can only have fun hanging out together if we're drinking or gossiping (it's amazing how much information they've collected on the people from home. they like to "fill me in" on what news i've missed out on.) and since two of us have decided not to drink for the time being....our evenings together are kinda boring and drag on and on. o well... i shouldn't complain...
i guess the evening was a little rough because of other reasons too. the evening started out with two of my girl-friends and two guy-friends hanging out at aaron's house. we were going to watch a movie...but just ended up talking. we stopped the movie and all went over to our friend kelly's house because sarah had to talk to her about wedding plans. my friends kelly and josh are getting married in april and sarah is kelly's maid of honor. she needed to talk to her about showers, guest lists, and stuff. well, we ended up spending about 4 hours over there. most of the time, kelly talked/complained about wedding stuff and argued with josh over different details. i guess it started me thinking about my own wedding (not that it takes a whole lot to get me thinking about it in the first place). i guess i started to think about the fact that i'm not going to get to plan my wedding like 'normal' people. i'm going to end up having to do most of the planning over email or phone. and wedding dates are probably going to be limited to a small time frame. i guess i started to worry that i'm going to miss out on making this whole thing a 'big deal'....special. i know it's dumb and in the end the only thing that's really going to matter is that i am married in the end. but i think about stupid things like this. i also started to think about the people i'd like to invite to my wedding some day, but who i don't think would come...people i wish were more a part of my life or who i wish i didn't have a broken relationship with. overall, i'm just kinda sad. i'm sure thinks will look better, or at least different tomorrow...but for now i'm just not settled and i hate that.
o well. guess i really need to be focusing on getting back to school and trying to finish out the semester on a high note. honestly i've been making "being busy" an excuse for slacking with school work and now i may be in trouble with grades in two of my classes. ugh, i've never let myself get this behind before. dont' exactly know what i'm gonna do to fix things...but i guess i have five hours in the car to figure it out.
man....2 am already? i'm gonna be hurtin in church tomorrow...i mean today. o well...i've gotta say...i'm excited to be at my home church. there are a couple people there i have missed seeing and i should have gotten together with them while on break...but i didn't want to interrupt their family time. maybe christmas break will be a better oppertunity. ok...i have to be up in a little over 4 hours...guess i should hurry up and get to bed....
niters, jenn - - or as kelly likes to call me - - copperpot (remember the movie goonies?)
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