Good-Bye Grandma

ok - recap of the last two days. sunday morning was kind of hecktic. i had to get ready for church and get ready to go to james' grandparents house for a christmas deal. needless to say, i was running late. i wanted to make it to church on time to see my mom and sister in a christmas thing. mom put it together - a choir thing just like old times. she was real nervous because she hadn't been in charge of this stuff for 8 years or so. but you could tell...even with the stress of planning...she was excited to be back conducting. anyways, i was supposed to go to church and stay for an hour...then i was to leave for bloomington. well, the service started pretty normally...although it was ominously dark (some of the lights had gone out right before the service started)...and things just seemed a little off. during the announcement time we found out why that was. we got news that we weren't expecting at all...... my grandma (not really related) had died at 3 am. the pastor just mentioned it flippantly....most of the congregation didn't really know her well. but let me explain my family's connection.

Lee and Teena Areneson lead a biblestudy every thursday night. my family has attended every week since before i was born. they were mentors to my parents when they were first married and actually, the whole reason i'm around is because of them. my parents tried to have kids a few years after they were married and they couldn't get pregnant. dad decided he was against having kids anyways and decided they weren't going to try anymore. a little while later, lee and teena talked to them about the whole deal. they said that they thought God wanted them to have children and that they should pray about it and try again. well...long story short...they had me and my sister. mel and i have always considered lee and teena to be our grandparents. some of my best memories of being a little kid are events that took place at their house. we spent hours and hours in front of their fireplace, being put to bed early in their bed (while the rest of biblestudy went on), and when we were older - doing homework at their kitchen table. anyways, lots of memories. they are also such a solid christian couple. they have gone through some awfully hard times with their own health, their kids, family, etc...and yet they always were the first ones to talk about how God had everything under control and that they were going to trust, pray, and wait on his answer. Teena, specifically, had gone through a ton of health problems. she's been very near death a bunch of times in the last 5 years. actually, last year, the day before my dad had his first cancer surgery.....she was in the hospital with bad heart problems...she was pronounced dead...but then about 2 min later...her heart started beating again, she sat up and talked to people, we saw her a week later and she looked great. she has witnessed so much healing on her own behalf and others. this is all to say. when i heard about her death, i felt like i had been shot. i didn't cry at my own grandpas' funerals...trying to hold it together and be tough...but immediately sunday morning...the tears welled up. i didn't know what to do with myself. right after announcements we have a time of greeting and going to get coffee/donuts... matt and jason were back in town and had come to church... i hadn't seen matt since july and normally, when friends see eachother after a long time has passed...they are excited. i just couldn't be excited. i just cried...and felt stupid. didn't say a whole lot to them and probably was a bad friend...but i'm sure they'll understand later. anyways, poor mom and mel...they had to quick pull it together and sing. they had a duet to do and mel had a solo too. anyways, i stood at the back of church and watched the start of the program...then got in the car to leave. it's weird how death can be a bonding experience (my family hasn't fought as much in the past 2 days). for some reason i just wanted to be home...i didn't want to leave. i was excited to see james and his family...but i just wanted to be with my own. everyone was trying to deal with the news...except dad. he said it hadn't really hit him yet and i'm still not sure it has. that worries me somewhat.... when it hits dad it's not gonna be good. o well....more on that later maybe.

well...i made it to james' grandparents about 1. it was a long drive. i was kinda crying and praying and i was just angry. at one point i said something about it not being fair. but then i stopped myself because that's totally not true. she was in a lot of pain...she was ready to die and wanted to go "home" more than anything. i wanted to be happy and excited for her but i guess i just needed a little time to be sad. guess things are a little more in perspective now...but it's still kinda sad to know she's gone - i really don't know what to do with myself sometimes. i've never been this emotional over anyone's death - i have a feeling i have more tears but for now their quiet.

anyways, the christmas party in bloomington was fun. i was shocked to get some presents from his grandparents. a few funny moments of note involved the gift exchange. they take turns opening one present at a time and watching (if you get clothes the rule is you have to model them). well, you can imagine my surprise when i recieved a pink box from victoria's secret. i was starting to get embarassed...but to my relief...in this huge box....was just a couple bottles of perfume (whew...close call). another amusing site was watching the dog being given laps of grandpa's champaign. in all the dog had about a glass and a half...yikes. o well. the fam. finished the day by watching the packers get beat and rubbing it in to me. gotta love family. hmmm....maybe for last night's update i should start a new post....yeah...brb.....
jenn