that's it. i've decided that making plans is pointless. i never end up following through, things come up, o man. well, yesterday was no different. i called james on my way out of town to get directions...he told me that there had been a mix up of the date for the christmas thing at his grandparent's house that i was going to. it was supposed to be tomorrow (sunday) instead of today. so, i ended up coming home last night instead. i just figured it was better for scooter, just wanted to get my stuff home, etc. o yeah, and my recruiter called me on the way home. the DEP function that i was going to miss (with the original plan) ended up being a little more manditory than originally thought. so, in the end, it was a good thing that i ended up coming home early. today was our manditory PT test. o man....i was not happy about hearing that one the drive home last night. this was the week where i only worked out one day (i have been EXHAUSTED...and just couldn't do it)...anyways, i just felt SO unprepared. well, i just got back from the station. the test started at 9am - pushups for 1 min, situps for 1 min, and a 1 mile timed run. i was really only concerned about the run...figured the pushups and situps would be fine. the time limit was 10min 30sec for the run. i have NEVER run a mile in under 12 min - sad i know...but i'm NOT a runner. we ran around a park outside in the 20 degree weather (brr)...but anyways...today...drumroll please.....i ran faster than ever - definately prayed the whole time around...but i made it in 8min 29sec :) i was SO excited. maybe it was the working out this last month, maybe being scared of failure, maybe my recruiter yelling from the side "Officers lead Jenn." i don't know. but it was alright. i also saw a former friend from highschool...she joined the army a few months ago and ships out in 11 days. man, weird highschool memories...o well. so, i'm glad to have the test out of the way...found out a little more about what the requirements are and stuff for OCS....that whole deal. o yeah...forgot to mention. i gave myself until today to decide for sure whether or not i was going to take the OCS deal. well...first of all, i have to say...i'm scared to death that i'm going to fail the school or won't be a good leader...stuff like that...but.... i'm gonna do it. there are a ton of things that are going to have to fall into place and a lot of things about me that are going to have to change. but....God's big enough. i'm gonna work more on this whole trust thing. but for the moment....i'm going to take a little step in that department and say....ok...i want to trust you more than i do right now and making the decision for the OCS deal takes my future (career wise at least) totally out of my hands. it's a real uncomfortable feeling...yet i'm excited. guess i just have to keep reminding myself that God's going to take care of me...and better than i can take care of myself (you could help remind me too if you want to - i wouldn't be offended ;) ... i don't know. now i'm starting to ramble. guess i'm off to start writting to people to try and get recommendations...that may become the new drama of my life this week. i'm sure i'll have more to write later. i think i usually "escape" to the blog on these holiday breaks....or maybe i just write more because there's a whole lot more drama created here...haha...who knows...blah....
Jenn
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